!و ستظل هنا...في فؤادي وإن فارقت بيني وبينك أقدار وأقدار

أتعرف  في ظل وجودك

حبيبي... أن للهواء طعم السكر ولون أزرق سماوي ؟

وأن للماء رائحة المسك وملامح طفلة؟

!(بل تعال لأخبرك عن حال الحيطان.. وهي تردد أجمل ما غناه صوتي (اسمك وحبك والجنون

..امممم كدت انسى أن أملي عليك انشودة القلب لتحفظها وتشدو بها كلما تذكرت كيف ابدو

..وكيف صوتي

!وكيف الشوق يفقدني السلوان

أين أنت؟؟ وماذا تفعل؟ قل لي...كيف حالك اليوم وكيف كنت؟

هل للصبابة نصيب بك  وهل بقلبك شعف ليومِ بقلبي سكنت؟

وحتى وإن كان الجواب لا...سأسمعه بلا..

وإن كان الرحيل هو الحقيقة..فالعقل سلى 

وما اُمتحِنت يوما بأقسى من هذا البلاء 

!!إما ان احبك أو أحبك او..فلا

!كم بالحب إحساس بنيتَ وكم بالرحيل أملٌ هدمت

!رميتُ الكسر وراء ظهري ولجبر كسرك سعيا هممت

تـُرى مالي وماذا بي؟

...عجبا لحالي...! طريحاَ

...كسيراً

!!سحيقاَ.... صُدمت

!كلما سعيت لك غبطةً تلقفتني الأحجار

..وكلما هربت ذعرا اوقفتني الأسوار

سُجنت فيكَ فأتمنت

.. و رُميت "قِسراً"..في العراء

!اوارئ  رجفة خوفي تحت الشجر

...اشمهُ

..واضمهٌ

!!عسا ان استدل لك بعلمٍ اوخبر

لا هنا..لا ولا هناك

!صوتٌ ينادي,,قف 

...فلن يعود

لن يعو

!....لن يعـــ 

!!!ويح قلبي! ....معه لا يُجدي الصبر

..لا بأس

..ارحل يامن احببتك و ان كانت مشيئتك أن لا تعد

..لا بأس 

!مادمتَ في الدنيا راضٍ سيار

وستظل هنا

!...في فؤادي...وإن فارقت بيني وبينك اقدار............... واقدار

ــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــ 

!في أمان الرحمن يا قرة عيني وأغلى البشر.. كن سعيداً 

 نورا 

(وسأعود بقوة إلى عالمي (التصوير الفوتوغرافي

اشتقت مووووت موووووت أصور ولكن انشغلت كثير عن اعظم هواياتي 

فقررت حارجع اجهز كاميراتي وطابعتي وابدأ من جديد 

وحاعرض بعض الصور (من صور كتييير ضاعت)لحد ماارجع بكوليكشن 2010 ^_* وبسم الله نبدأ

>> 
(ماشاء الله لا قوة إلا بالله)

برضو العين حق وتعلمت درسي 

اغلى الناس واحبهم إلى قلبي كانت الصورة دي المفضلة عندو وليا كل الشرف

  دي الصورة تخليني ارفع راسي لما لقبتني صاحبتي (أجمل عيون-أروع فنانة) اتمنى لو اشووووفك حلووم

 شوكة على طبلون سيارة؟ حتشوفو <مجنونة

الدخان يحرق الشمس <معدلة حتى اوصل فكرتي 

  عن جد عن جد اشتقت للتصوير ويارب تتيسر اموري وارجع ملقوفة زي زمان حتى التونة والزيتون اصورهم< لها ماضي بشع ههههه
واستمتعو بالاغنية الرائعة ( من اغاني طرزان الخيالية ) دمتم بخيير

Phil Collins - Two Worlds Found at abmp3 search engine

What's the point of HOME?

WHAT'S THE POINT OF HOME?
by: NoRa

Yanni - Secret Vows Found at abmp3 search engine

you can go on,whatever distance you want
but you can't keep on,
loving me while you are looking up another hunt!
 NOW my heart's telling me,
it's no longer fun!
though, I'm wondering....
if i should be.. surrendering...
will this suffering... keep me alive
..to run?!

so baby reason my whys.. without you, will i ever get grown?
I'm like a butterfly, pretty, catch-able but... alone!
which flower to stand on?
I shouldn't squeeze that rose, shall I ?
doesn't matter! you are gone!!

So,
What's the point of home if you are not HOME?
& what's the point of warmth if your arms aren't around?
it's so empty here, nothing heard & said but groan..
and the echo of your sweet laughter -no longer- sound!

What's the point of home if your are not home?!

little sayings by : NoRa

Hers and All Downs-2-

-2-

"No! don't deprive me of my friend" screamed Fancilos at her mom while her mom was looking at everything else but painful Fancilos. week ago, Fancilos family went to shopping. Fancilos went wearing her friend coat as usual. "Believe me, I'll leave you soon my friend" talked to the coat again. Nothing has caught her eyes like a beautiful cutie Doll in the shining window shop. She never saw any thing as beautiful and pure as that doll. Somehow Fancilos saw herself in depth. all the elapsed months she was saving money to buy something unknown yet. "That's what I was saving money for!" astonished Fancilos. She quickly walked in to buy the doll and ran with joyfulness.
"Other kids will love me because I have a doll now" looking at her doll "is that how it feels when you hold a doll?" she put her coat off. "Finally, I got a friend. See my pretty toy!" she started singing to her Doll.

Happiness couldn't leave the little Fancilos face at that weekend. She was playing with her doll secretly and then she hid it beneath her bed. Fanci is the first part of Fancilos name and the name given to her Doll. School days started. Danger began. She isn't sure about her cruel mom's reaction yet! She's afraid thinking what will happen to Fanci if she left her alone. "I'll hide her somewhere safe although" thought Fancilos "No! I'll take her with me to school". School doesn't allow dolls and toys for nine years old students but she decided to take the risk. With a lot of consciousness and fear of loosing the first friend she chose in her life. She sat at the class looking around. She left her coat home because she doesn't need to be hidden anymore. Julie suspended her. "hey freaky fat" laughed Julie and her friends. Fancilos didn't care so much this time. She felt safe with someone although this one isn't human. At least it's something wouldn't refuse her and forcedly would see how nice and kind she is! Fancilos was thinking all of this and smiled the world saddest smile ever looking to Julie "yes?" "She said yes" laughed off meanly Julie and friends "you are funny fat hahaha, what you hold in there?" Julie gripped Fancilos bag and opened it. "Don't open" it's too late for Fancilos to ask. "A doll? It's beautiful " said Julie continuously " but can't you find a fat doll like you" looking to her friends and loudly laughed. " leave her alone" screamed Fancilos. "Not before I show it to the teacher" ran away Julie with the little Fanci. Fancilos stood up to run. "I can't, I can't run in front of them" frozen desperate Fancilos looking down to her desk. "Is it fair or…?" sat down with no courage to complete the same recurring Question.

"It's nothing short of abandon hope!" Fancilos is reasoning whys "why should I be frightened? It hurts! It hurts! It's just above my bends". Aloud voice echoing from the stairs. "Fancilos" called the one and only troublesome teacher "c'mon to my office". With cumbersome steps she walked to the teacher office putting her tiny hands on her rapid beating heart. This time isn't a fear of being hurt. It is a dread of loosing Fanci!
"So, you bring a doll, ha?" the teacher voice is breaking the cerebration. "Where is Fanci?" asked Fancilos a question heading out of her trauma land "Fanci! Where is she?"."What? Your doll?" asked the teacher "well, it's in safe place. The question is why did you bring it?". The hard answered question dawned upon Fancilos. She started talking to her mind whether she should tell the teacher or not. They said you can't trust a one but a friend." Mine is with her!" thought Fancilos "it's similar to hell what I'm going through. A doll! It may look for them but for me it's a pretty friend I can cry on". Thoughts kept coming and going just like agitated volcano in her head. "Can I have a doll in heaven?" asked Fancilos with wild eyed heading to her teacher the most shocking question she ever heard. Her amazed teacher replied "of course!" continuously "I'll give you back your doll but NEVER bring it again, understood?". Fancilos doesn't reply because she simply didn't understand yet! Fanci was back to Fancilos who was still thinking of her teacher response. "Of course I can have a doll in heaven? Then, this must be Hell!" cried Fancilos on her knees "I'm a child. Why should a child live in Hell?" throwing her doll "why?". A moment of thinking interrupted the all whys she asked "I am a child? Am I?".

After an endless school day as usual, Fancilos is home with the same long face she put everyday. A home was supposed to be her HOME but it's the most hated place she went to always instead. "How was your day Fancilos?" asked mom. Fancilos wanted to cry off that moment but she kept herself from that "fine, we had the first cla…" "Whatever" carelessly replied mom hitting Fancilos head "change your clothes and have lunch". Her mom headed to the kitchen. Fancilos went to her room in which she was setting beside the unopened window and cry along. Exhaustedly she slept with smiling Fanci squeezed between her hands. Snoring Fancilos was suddenly hit and fell down. Her mom came to call her to have a lunch but she didn't hear. Darkest clouds hid the small room of happiness left in Fancilos's heart when she saw her mom holding Fanci. "A doll? Since when I allow such damn things in my house" shouted mom. Out of sudden, Fancilos wailed loudly trying not to think that mom will take Fanci away. Fancilos mom started kicking her harder and harder "This stupid thing won't stay anymore here. Get lost now smartass cow!". With pain kept killing Fancilos inside. It got deeper and deeper till she pulled out her messed hair "No!!! Don't deprive me of my friend" Hopelessly said "I bought my friend!" screamed Fancilos hoarsely to her mom while her mom was looking at everything else but painful Fancilos.

Being unheard was what Fancilos used to be. She went to the unopened window crying. She sat there paining and put her head down struggling to reach near her knees. "You?" talked Fancilos to her cold coat which most likely knew she will come back sooner or later "it turns out to be you and me at the end always" she hit the ground with her gripped hand repeatedly and looked downer than down "I hate you my friend!".

Hers and All Downs -1-

Title: Hers and All downs
Form: short story
Type: series
Cast: Fancilos, her coat, and all downs
By: NoRa Ahmad
       

      -1-

"Is it fair or..?" felt Fancilos at the moment she got kicked hard from her mom for no reason. Before her dear friend she ran away with a question unspoken. Unanswered. Is it fair or..?  it merely can't be completed! She headed her messy room struggling to not to cry. It's neither the first nor the last. After two minutes of keeping the pain inside, she lost the challenge! Sadness disappeared when she saw her coat waiting for her. "you are always the only one who waits for me" said Fancilos with smile while wiping her tears " I hate you!".

 Her tired coat lying next to an unopened window. It's a coat but a caring friend for her though she hates it! She took it on and slept crying.

   "Wake up cow! You've got school to catch" screamed mom. "I'm up. I always am" replied with mixed feelings of exhaustion and anger. Today morning is as the last. Cold, blurred and heavy raining. The coat was hanged strongly between her little hands. At the school door, clique of girls were goggling together. She wanted to hide herself before they notice her existence. " Hey Fancilos" called Jolie." h..hi" she acted uncaring and walked. " you want to play with us" "ha? M..me?" " yes, you" said Jolie and laughed loudly with her friends. Fancilos held a grip and agreed to play. Actually she was excited it may be the point that change her status quo. She threw her bag , her coat as well as her fear and started to run with others. It's more like the first time she laughed from the depth of her hurt heart . it's new world of adventures. "Oh! Is it happiness?" said Fancilos with her innocent eyes looking up to the sky. She couldn't believe she is playing and having fun with others after two years of being alone and insulted since she went to school. " I'll befriend the pretty girl" smiled Fancilos and suddenly she stumbled falling upon Jolie. A moment of shocking silence.   Jolie's friends went to help her. "Is it blood? Am I bleeding? It feels so good!" thought Fancilos when Jolie stood up surrounded by her angry friends " you freaky fat ball! I won't let you play with us anymore. You almost killed me" cried Julie and her friends calming  her down. They walked away and…very much away!

"What just happened?" Wailing unconsciously " for moment I was experiencing friendship and the other moment I simply got left behind hurtful and bleeding". She gripped herself wiping her tears as well as her blood and walked to grab her stuff. "You're still here for me?" talked to her coat and burningly cried "I hate you!".

In the first class , " Fancilos?" called teacher " the principle wants to see you now". She went there after she covered her bleeding hands with her coat. Fancilos was step behind the principle door. She stood beside the door thinking. The coat end was shown as if it's trying to tell about Fancilos. "come in Fancilos" called principle. Fancilos stepped forward and shockingly saw Julie the pretty girl crying there. "What did you do to Julie?" Fancilos looked at Julie with wild eyes. "damn! She is beautiful when she cries too" thought Fancilos silently. "Fancilos ,answer me" "I did not d.. do an…anythin.." Stammering Fancilos. " she lies Mum , I swear she was trying to hurt me because I'm prettier" Julie continued her falsehood while Fancilos was pained until the way her tears were dropping down unintentionally. The principle calming Julie down " we're not allowing such violent behavior in my school" continuously " I'll banish you. Open your hands!". Fancilos was still under shock. " do I have to get banished for something I didn't do?" series of thoughts carrying on " all I wanted is to befriend the pretty girl and now I have to pay the price. Well, it won't hurt more than getting left behind!" Out of sudden, the coat that covered Fancilos bleeding hands fell down. "What is this?" asked the principle. Words were hid behind the principle's tongue. "oh, Fancilos! I won't banish you but don't repeat such a thing". She picked her coat and walked away. "you saved me, why?" single tear dropped down " I hate You!". 

Fancilos once heard that life is ups and downs. It's still under the process of figuring

Out. "is it true?" asked Fancilos " or should it be true? I felt the up thing once" with closed eyes she recalled " I don't want to feeling again". Looking at her stained coat "hey, don't you want to disappear for one day?" she laughed at her miserable self.

Happy new Year ^^

To be honest, I'm not such an optimistic person. i don't believe it will be happy and joyful year
but i surely believe that i'm gonna be alright ^^. just wanted to thank someone helped me through the elapsed years specially 2009 . My sister, Huda or Yushi :p . i wouldn't do it all without you. I finally came to the conclusion that NO one cares for me as u DO. No one loves me as u DO. u r everything to me .my sis , my friend, my mom and dad.

hope u happy new year dudiii

The best thing about 2010 that i got my dream guitar at the first beginning of it, Jan 1st 2010. isn't it great ?
still working on my essential skills but really i'm getting there ^^.

soon enough i'll be playin my guitar as good as i could.  and as decided my guitar is my everlasting love ^^

don't need a friend and definitely i don't need boyfriend.

O 2010, you BETTER be nice and easy on me! don't need any further damage!

happy new year ,, hopefully!